Saturday, November 8, 2008

Are You FaREAL?!

GPS Lingerie


GPS Lingerie:
Insecurity may have just hit a record High. Oh, so your man just happens to do something "sweet" and brings you an unexpected gift. "ooooo... lingerie!" EHHHH! WRONG. It could possibly be a fucking tracking device. Wow! If you're a guy who feels like you have to track your chick... just quit her. Because that can't be healthy.
The lingerie line is called "Find Me If You Can", and the designer Lucia Loria claims that it is something like a safety device for a night on the town that may get waaay out of control. Mmmmm... OoK. But, if you thought that was enough stupidity, here's the kicker; this shit costs anywhere from $800 - $1000. I don't care which tax bracket you're in... if you're spending that kind of bread on your undergarments, Obama SHOULD take a FAT percentage of your income and give it to the less fortunate.

Rapest Falls Asleep:
A man and his friend abducted a woman and raped her. Yes, INCREDIBLY SAD & PATHETIC. But it gets worse. Afterward one of them asks the woman to drive herself home while he's in the passenger seat (*you may be wondering.... Whyyy? Because, he was too drunk to drive.......... no.... I'm not kidding.) Now... this worthless low life is drunk, has had sex, and is riding shotgun while the victim drives, and he FALLS ASLEEP!
I thank God this woman had commonsense, because she looked over at the snoring p.o.s. and decided, "Fuck it... I'm going to drop you off at the jail house." So this sleepy senseLESS clown wakes up in front of a police station with cops peering through the window waiting for him.
And that was all she wrote for his dumbass.

Student Brings Fake Gun To Class:
If you would like to know a quick way to ruin the rest of your life, please get your pens and pads out kid-o's, and take notes from Ryan Labenz. An art major at the University of Nebraska, shows a silver fake gun outside of his classroom. To increase his Genius... this cool kid begins to yell "GET DOWN! EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!" So people did what people do when a terrorist is in their presence... they ran hysterically and jumped out of classroom windows! What college student owns a toy gun?! AND... is Bored enough to Bring It To SCHOOL. Was it "Friday Show & Tell"?! Grow up Peter Pan.

1 comment:

  1. Worrddd???? New-Age creeper technology